I recently had to write a midterm report for the project on which I’ve been working since September. In reality, there wasn’t much “writing” to do because it’s a numbers game. The format of the report looked more like a chart you’d fill out at the doctor’s office to measure the state of your health. All the major outcomes, outputs, and activities from the project proposal had been uploaded into the form by the grants management system. All I had to do was answer the question, did we hit our targets or not. Three cups of coffee later and I was still stuck trying to figure out did we or didn’t we.
My struggle was not because of a delay in programming, or lagging logistics or anything like that. In fact, in my opinion, we’re on track. My problem was with the indicators. They were incomplete. Lacking definitions. More importantly, they were written before we really knew the context. Sure we had done a rapid assessment, but that was before we knew just how complex and diverse the geographical regions would be. Before we knew that a one-size-fits all approach wouldn’t cut it.
I wrote the report, but I also wrote a revised list of indicators to propose to the donor. A list that would better capture the full extent of our impact.
The day before the report was due, I turned 34. I was miserably sick with a cold and could barely muster the strength to go to the zoo and enjoy an amazing barbecue dinner (said tongue-in-cheek). Somehow I managed to muddle through, all the while thinking about indicators and targets and my life, and was I measuring up?
Here’s the thing: at some point in the last year, I had decided that I simply would NOT turn 34 in this country. Not because I don’t like it or because I don’t think my work is meaningful, but because I wanted to do something even more risky: start writing a book.
And besides that, here were a few of my other personal goals for the past year:
- Talk to a financial planner
- Get a life coach
- Find someone to marry (I’m exaggerating, but you get the point)
- Become fluent in Arabic (also exaggerating)
Here’s what I did (and didn’t) accomplish from the above:
- Asked friends for recommendations of financial planners then failed to contact any of them
- Emailed the Paterson Center for help with creating a life plan then decided I could make the plan….later
- Shelled out $75 for an online dating profile and logged in twice (once as a group activity on a boring Friday night so my colleagues could have a laugh)
- Learned 1 new word in Arabic: “coordination”
- Made 9 monthly payments of $83 to study ‘the art of work’ then failed to take the course
Clearly I didn’t hit all my targets and I’m ok with that (except part of me wonders if maybe I’d talked to that financial planner and hired a life coach I wouldn’t have lost $1,075 on the other activities I never completed).
But I’ve been thinking, when I made those goals, I didn’t know the context fully. I didn’t know where the year would take me, what opportunities I would be handed.
Here’s what else I did in the past 12 months:
- “Learned” to “surf” in Sri Lanka (and by learned to surf I mean stood up a couple of times on waves so small they wouldn’t overflow a bathtub)
- Paraglided to 1,350meters in Hungary with my friend Abner whom I met in the Philippines way back in 1996!
- Became a Camp Coordination and Camp Management Trainer in Iraq with the legendary CCCM mentorship consortium
- Was accepted to the DRC Standby roster in Denmark and met up with 3 of my favorite Danes!
- Won 3 consecutive games of bouncy ball soccer in Sweden, at swing dance camp, with my South Sudan besties
- Learned how to navigate a hazardous environment in Lebanon
- Explained (in Arabic) to my driver that no, I am not married, and yes, I want to get married (that’s not weird is it?)
- Improved my physique by exercising 4-5 days a week consistently since August!
- Found my writing voice with the help of author Allison Vesterfelt
- Created a blog and wrote 15 pieces (ignoring the fact that I completely failed the 31 day writing challenge)
- Rode in the ambulance with Grampy for his last trip through town
- Watched my friend’s son marry his beautiful bride in California
- Made countless new friends and connected with old ones
With all that, so what if I didn’t get past Lesson 5 in Author Launch? I’ll start again in January (I hope)!
This year I learned that life doesn’t come with preset indicators. Unlike in project management, you get to make them up as you go along! It’s great to have goals, but not if you lose sight of what makes life interesting and dynamic – the adventure of the unknown.
My year was amazing because of the people I got to spend it with, not because of anything I did to try to succeed.
Thank you to everyone who made this year so special – family, colleagues, friends, and peers. May your 2016 be filled with whimsy, laughter, and inspiration. Celebrate the small things.
And keep your eye out for my book. It’s coming.
Eventually.